Vibe Shift – How Weddings Are Changing
A lot of wedding advice lives in an idealised world. Magazine timelines, influencer checklists, rigid “must-haves” that assume unlimited budget and zero context.
This isn’t that.
This is real-life advice, not styled-shoot perfection. There are guidelines out there, and some of them are genuinely helpful. But none of them need to be followed slavishly. There is no universal template for a good wedding day.
What works beautifully for one couple might feel completely wrong for another. The only real mistake is trying to force your day into someone else’s version of how it should look.
So, with my usual bluntness, here’s some planning advice.
TLDR: ignore the guff online.
Weddings are mostly a product of budget
Everyone starts with a vision. Pinterest boards, screenshots, vague notions of how the day might look. Then reality arrives, usually in the form of a spreadsheet and a sharp intake of breath.
It’s also worth noting how the simple addition of the word wedding before any noun seems to multiply the price by four. Wedding shoes. Wedding cake. Wedding cars, etc – you get the idea.
These days, most couples are paying for their own wedding. There might be a bit of help from family, but the heavy lifting is theirs. And when it’s your money (that could be paying the mortgage, a holiday, a car or going towards the honeymoon) the decisions feel different – Difficult. More considered. Sometimes harder, often clearer.
From personalised to personal
Post-Covid weddings haven’t just become more personalised, they’ve become more personal. The difference being;
Personalised is about styling and choices. Personal is about people.
What I see now, far more than even five or six years ago, is couples stripping things back to focus on who they actually want to share the day with. Not who they feel obliged to invite.
The vibe shift is: smaller during the day, bigger party in the evening or
Everyone – all day.
Budgets haven’t disappeared, they’ve been reassigned
Wedding budgets haven’t vanished. They’ve just been reassigned.
Daytime – A beautiful intimate ceremony your mum, nan and closest friends.
Evening – The party, shots with Clare from work and a Taylor Swift mosh-pit.
Couples are spending less on peripheral extras (when was the last time you saw a chocolate fountain?) and more on food, drink, time, and atmosphere. They’re buying their guests a good dinner. They’re buying their friends a drink. They’re buying the chance to actually sit and talk, rather than rushing from one thing to the next.
The long and short of it is this: people are spending wedding money on the people they love.
And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
A slightly cheeky piece of advice
(very on brand for me)
This is something I often say to couples early on.
Before you sign a cheque for anything, pause and ask what that same money could do on your honeymoon.
An extra ten people at dinner might be the difference between a three-star hotel and a five-star one.
Three bridesmaids instead of fice might be another few days away together.
A slightly smaller cake might be another great night out on honeymoon.
Sparklers instead of fireworks etc.
None of these choices are right or wrong. They’re just choices. The important bit is recognising that every line on the budget has a knock-on effect somewhere else.
You are the one signing the cheques*
This should sit at the forefront of all wedding planning advice.
You are hosting the day. You are signing the cheques. That means, ultimately, you call the shots.
Of course there will be compromises. There always are. Family opinions, logistics, availability, all have a way of creeping in. But the starting position matters.
No one else is hosting your wedding day for you.
So be a little greedy. Be greedy with your time. Be greedy with the experience you want. Be greedy with the people you choose to have around you.
That isn’t selfish. It’s honest.
So do your own thing
There’s no right way to plan a wedding. No wrong way either.
Start with what you value. Spend your money where it will mean the most to you. Let go of the rest. Everything else tends to fall into place after that.
And if I can help you at any point along the way, you know where the contact button is. Good luck.
* Just an expression. I don’t think chequebooks are really a thing anymore. Ask your mum.